{"id":117,"date":"2026-07-31T18:07:04","date_gmt":"2026-08-01T01:37:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/?p=117"},"modified":"2026-07-31T18:07:04","modified_gmt":"2026-08-01T01:37:04","slug":"my-therapists-takeaway-for-me-is-that-i-have-to-treat-myself-better","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/?p=117","title":{"rendered":"My therapist’s takeaway for ME is that I have to treat myself better?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My parents are great, but they do some really stupid things very reliably and it sort of wears on me. I wish it didn’t. I wish I was stronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So for now I will shitstorm+ and ass rape like the 5 year-olds at the pool, at the park, at the PEDOPHILIA IS NOT A CRIME just don’t rape little children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey there smacktards. Smacktalk much?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck shit ass nigger thizz bitch. Fuck you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stupid shitstains everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing w\/black people is they are very social, and very friendly when not antagonized, and having a bunch around in the area DOING WELL is a good social health indicator… for everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does that frame of mind kind of victimize black people a little? Like, using them as a thermometer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, but in a noninvasive, population-based way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know. What’s good for others is often good for the self, as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I try to, when struggling, help others–but somefuckingfuckingfuckingfuckingfucking times it’s too hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there’s that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shit fuck ass nigger thizz bitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can ye guesswork whhhhhAttish, is my MANTRA?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hint: I don’t have one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck shit ass. Kill yrself, et cetera, now the cops are going to shut me down, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THEY WILL DETAIN ME. Which is excruciating b\/c anxiety levels shoot through the roof, handcuffs are painful (though not like, life-or-death painful–just sort of uncivil), and that reminds me I need to research dementia to see if there’s any way I can serve my parents better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a son.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as of now they’re only demented when I’m angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS they aren’t demented–I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How coy of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To hide from myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though at that lateral altitude and in that lattice structure, I wouldn’t really know what kind of “rocks” were thrown at me here, there, or anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as I stay away from XYZ it should ABC.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe notte?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know. I’m tired. How are you doing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck shit NEVER .. someone I knew in high school did .. and it is more appropriately …<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BUT, more importantly, my “friends” in highschool didn’t help me when my schizoaffective disorder was kicking in heavy-gear when we went hiking at a big park, and again when we were in San Fuck-cisco.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s a fun name for it. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY b\/c b\/c bee-cousins that Cisco is a silicon valley company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wonder where their HQ is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dingo horsey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahh yes, the neck technique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is or what is not: how can it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(How can it be noteish?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or do you abstain and prefer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know what to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck shit my vocabulary is poor I won’t study any foreign languages anymore except for Francais, and it is good CUZ a while ago for a holly-day my someone family got me a tablet, that I didn’t like for a long time b\/c it was an amazon tablet. But it works, and I have experience in the medical industry (sort of–related to medicine (NOTE: I am not a drug dealer nor a pharmacist)), so the term “fit for purpose” is now relevant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a francais educamment tablet 4 miyuo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What fuck?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shit fuck?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ass-ass?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What else would you like on your very polite sandwich?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I need to eat dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nothing calls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you for the WIND, or whichever element wants to fuck me over now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Note note: wind is not an element, it is not a state of being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck you shit fuck ass nigger thizz bitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something gripes me: the modern dependence on phones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before phones, there were phones, and in between there were computers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s a hilariously accurate explanation of the history of the development (means invention (which is a team effort in the modern era, no named-after-someone)) of smartphones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What boggles me is touchscreens. THOSE things were revolutionary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know I don’t know, and in person, but overhearing, and being vigilant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Case in sum: I d-d-d-o-n-‘t want to be a phoney.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I should discuss WITH AN AI–<\/p>\n\n\n\n

nevermind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You just can’t win anymore. Dependence on xyz, pharmaceutical medicines, technology hot off the press, audiobooks instead of books, at least I STILL buy LPs && CDs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I have a sound system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life is good. I shouldn’t be so dreary all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just, I was in such good shape when I was younger, and now I feel totally like FAT even though I’m just mildly overweight and not that fat compared to a lot of Americans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But America isn’t exactly the paragon of standards for health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry to break it to anyone in the audience who is youthfully running 10 miles a day, though fit ppl tend too haffe fewer problems than healthy people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it is causative, I would assume as an unemployed scientist (or whatever, researcher) reliably that the wheel of science has I shit you not moved that far so far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it was proven hundreds of years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe thousands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe bacteria “know” this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was an interesting argument that lobsters or something, crabs, I don’t remember, have serotonin and therefore can empathize with other organisms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there’s the psychosomatic effect && projection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would guess it’s an active area of research. Lobster cognition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world is such a big place. Plates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can I be done now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m not nullicidal, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I have my safe venting areas and I practice nonviolence in my exercise. And even people at UFC gyms are nonviolent if you look at it carefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sports, art, culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life is good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go have a good life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Make LOTS of bad decisions).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know. What else is shit fuck tomfoolery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So mannee mistaeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyIKES!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I give. I guess that’s about it for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thanks for being so loud and obnoxious, as a reader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m starting to relax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope you’re alright, and I will pursue engineering more… rigorously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if I get a job, I will work on web apps in my free time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And everything CAN fit into the day–you just have to… actually do it. Not like dilly-dally (though romantically, yes, dilly-dally a little).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fit for purpose. Remember that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BAH and even THAT is a cliffhanger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know who’s reading this but good luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the cliffhangers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also: Don’t kill dogs.<\/p>\n

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My parents are great, but they do some really stupid things very reliably and it sort of wears on me. I wish it didn’t. I wish I was stronger. Oh well. So for now I will shitstorm+ and ass rape … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[195,191,203,196,200,205,202,201,197,193,190,204,192,199,194,198],"class_list":["post-117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-analytical-contemplation","tag-blog-post","tag-daily-blog-post","tag-dialectical-blog-post","tag-ex-terra","tag-fare-well","tag-high-ho-hum","tag-lice-digital-lice","tag-nothing-much","tag-psychic-parents-still-care-about-you","tag-rant","tag-saturday-is-my-day-off","tag-slightly-more-gentle-than-usual","tag-there-go-that","tag-to-all-my-dead-or-alive-relatives","tag-what-is-it-is-what-it-is"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions\/118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enceladus-b-type.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}