I feel very unpleasant that I lost track of my dosage today b\/c I had to wake up earlier than normal for therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve had on-and-off paranoia most of the day, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I really do not want to be around the parents right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what’s wrong with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not every dart is going to be a bullseye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So just now I had 0.5 g green + 1.0 g red (possibly the most boring dose possible).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is friday. I like enjoying fridays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This therapist seems to be a problem. I don’t know if I should report her for sexually harassing me or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Retribution laws don’t really work that well in the U.S.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As poorly as anything else in such a bad country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what else to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sorry about yr bruises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They’re not mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(So how long are we expected it to take?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I suppose you are right. At some point we should bring into the picture the concepts of tolerance && addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So in any case, the two are different, for starters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would assume usually they are correlated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel that my actions are frowned upon. But perhaps this is paranoia, or despondency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was despondent today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My parents didn’t help very much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My therapist was supposed to help — she sexually harassed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know if I should report her. The greivance complaint line is not even anonymous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So yeah. That’s american healthcare. Dumb retard of Earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you even think drrmrrfuck is on Earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some people think it does not qualify. Too low quality\/unethical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Great. Now I have a stomach ache.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feminazis I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just hope I can sustain my being-there for my parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They really do get too much input into my decisions, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t really have anything else to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I need to get my liver tested soon, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So we’ll see what is up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are many checks in place, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I spending too much on it?: budget<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I keeping track of my dosage throughout the day && how much have I have?: blog<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some checks from mitragaia (like tamper-protection).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Manual willpower (yes, I don’t have none, I have some–but it is not good to rely on exclusively).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
&& just living a healthy lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really, overdosing to my parents would really make them sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know. It’s good to be atheist, I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think I’m craving more responsible behavior from myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I probably did have a mild overdose of kratom tonight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tomorrow I expect to have 0.5 g green, && 0.5 g red (the minimum dose of each vein).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it would be nice to go on a hike w\/my brother(s?) && mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normal life is hard to find sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it’s hard to be happy anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At least my psych med dosage is optimized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That took “4-6 weeks” ahhhh no closer to 10 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thanks, dumb fucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what else to say. My mood is pretty nasty right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess I should do relaxing things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess that’s it for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thanks for reading.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel very unpleasant that I lost track of my dosage today b\/c I had to wake up earlier than normal for therapy. I’ve had on-and-off paranoia most of the day, too. I really do not want to be around … Continue reading