I went the weekend kratom-free, except for Saturday morning (I had 1.5 g).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today I’m at ~7.5 g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s more or less normal for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am already under mental care. I have a therapist && psychiatrist. I’ve had them both for about a year or two now. Closer to two (2) years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe 3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They’re good people. Obviously anything could be better, but eh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry for causing problems. I’m fine, though. I’m more or less stable. The kratom really helps w\/social anxiety. I also have a medically prescribed anxiolytic, that helps, even w\/psychotic episodes it helps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry for all of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what else to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today was busy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve been making a lot of progress recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s cool. It’s good. It’s lemon-lime groovy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What else? What else is there? Does it matter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mattress sale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does it mattress sale?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry if I worried anyone. It’s cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don’t know what to say. It’s not all that exciting. I’m starting to read more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The weekend off from kratom was a little, I was more anxious, && a little off. But it was necessary. If I take every weekend off, I’ll get used to the flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I noticed Monday morning I didn’t have a desire for as much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what is new w\/me? I’m chasing a job in pharma. California has a good industry there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m actually very qualified. I don’t really use social media at all, except for this blog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m qualified, and qualified for this job. So I’m trying to do a good job on the job application.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Letting things rest after settling is an art, && I am a little clumsy there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would love to work in science again. The tech(nology) is getting to the point where, it’s sort of… actually really advanced, now. Like impressive, even to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously it’s very mundane && tedious in actuality, behind the scenes, but I think I’m ready for that, finally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s about it for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can leave this blog post, and rest, or go do something else. && my head won’t explode from a landmine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So that’s nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Went to the library today, w\/mother. I’m starting to sort of socially reintegrate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Schizoaffective disorder, like what it ACTUALLY is, even me, having been sick for over a decade, I’m starting to see. You can only know so much about yourself until you’re in the light\/shadow of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s it for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thanks for reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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I went the weekend kratom-free, except for Saturday morning (I had 1.5 g). Today I’m at ~7.5 g. That’s more or less normal for me. I am already under mental care. I have a therapist && psychiatrist. I’ve had them … Continue reading