I feel malnourished/exhausted.

These psych meds were destroying me.

I decreased my SSRI, over a month and a half, by 20 mg (about 50%).

It’s a heavy reduction. But I already, one week after the second half of the reduction (the second part, of the 50% 20 mg reduction I mean), feel so much better.

SSRIs are fucking dangerous. It’s not safe or healthy to suppress young peoples’ emotions that severely.

Fucking pharma. Aye.

Bought myself some Method shampoo, WITHOUT amazon prime, ON subscribe+save.

Neat beans.

&& what else?

…

You are great. You are super-cool. You will vibe w/the ocean, && the wind will sail across your bow.

…

Cats && dogs have an interesting accent.

I had to take care of an iguana once, when I was younger.

Animal life is, well, could be better, globally, but is improving, I think.

So there is that.

Need to clip my nails.

It’s back to the norm, isn’t it.

I don’t know why my face is gaunt like a skeleton, but I have belly fat like yuch.

…

I do not believe in “drama”. As my father psychically said recently, All people have the capacity to be good.

This is true, is it not? It is more prevalent in some than others, but it is a general unifying principle of humanity, no?

I’ve been reading too much Krsna Murti–you can tell by how I speak.

…

I’m starting to really nourish my body. SSRIs, being on them, is a profound pain. Fuck. && you don’t really notice until you’re off, or at least the dose is reduced (like in my case).

I think 10 mg will be good for me.

ONE of my TWO antipsychotics, I think could be reduced. The evening dose. && the morning antipsychotic is fine. It gets 60% of the work done.

I know all this. Because I am me, && my body is mine, && I can talk to you about it.

…

I’m (OPTIONALLY) supposed to be working on art or some video game.

I think, I don’t know. I wait too long for things. Or I just don’t know how to fish.

I don’t want to force anything, though. I wholly expect I could, I have the capacity to, play a game session && come out of it feeling miserable.

Doesn’t happen, though…

Something about being upfront, eludes me. I am kiss-assy / “nice”.

Well.

…

Problems, how to fix them, engineering. Science.

Hope NOAA gets more funding next presidency. I’m wondering about radio pollution for sea creatures.

…

Lots to do. But at least I didn’t run around like a squirrel today. What is it, Sunday?

Back to “work” tomorrow. (I’m self-employed not-yet-profitable).

My brother (youngest one) says don’t worry about profit, just enjoy what you do && success will come.

I’m interpolating a bit, but he knows statistics so he would understand.

…

Sorry. The psychological pipes were clogged for a few years, so I didn’t get much valuable journaling in. Here is to catching up, without rushing, soonish.

Ayah~