The day turned out very well, despite being a little off this morning.

I’m trying to wake up consistently @ 2pm until it becomes routine. Then I’ll bump it earlier by 30 min, and iterate the process. I am using an alarm clock, not my phone (though that would work for some (ppl), too).

I did NOT get out of bed today until about 2:30 PM.

The morning dose WAS 1.0 g (red/green 0.5 g each). This was enough to sort of energize me for a good amount of time.

Then I didn’t have any until the evening. I take some w/my end-of-workday pills (&& my end-of-workday routine, when I exercise && do my fact-checking/reality-testing).

I did get some very good productive progress on coding done today. I mean workstuffs, for the software I’m developing.

I think Friday I will try to program w/o Gemini. Use the internet on my own.

The evening dose, after worktime, was 1 pill = 0.5 g green maeng da (first time dosing this strain && vein in the evening), && 2 pills = 1.0 g red borneo.

I’ve noticed that the red borneo is gentler, to repeat what I’ve said before, && sort of is more supportive, but combos well w/green maeng da (maeng da being the opier strain of the pair, green vein being for alertness).

I was sort of manic/uppity the whole day. Running around like a chicken w/its head cut off, helping the parents, doing chores, working on my web app dev, doing this, taking care of myself, doing that.

I started using Microsoft To-Do for my evening sessions. Of… free time.

B/c I like SOME structure to my free time. That’s sort of how I grew up.

So anyway.

So how is it going? Let me think a moment…

My mother still doesn’t know about the kratom. I’m horrified she will find out, yell at me, cry, && confiscate it. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened.

Oh well. C’est la vie. (That hasn’t happened yet). She respects my privacy pretty like, a little too much to be honest, so as long as I am functioning well, staying on top of the ball, she probably won’t snoop or inquire.

Then I took 2 more pills = 1.0 g red vein.

So right now I’m @ 7 pills = 3.5 g.

Like I said, 10 pills is my daily usual. Around 10.

So yeah.

I have therapy in a few days.

My therapist is good.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m tired, && functional, but sort of… beaten up.

I think it should get better, though.

My father discovered ice for his hip.

What a miracle. He was always before like, “It’s okay!” (implying he didn’t need it), && I am not naturally a pushy person, so I didn’t push. How screwed up, amiright.

And he said it helped.

I am pretty, like, good @ body stuff. I am a former athlete, for my education I studied/specialized in science/engineering–biological both of them.

So yeah.

I know some stuff.

…

That’s about it for now. I don’t want to get sued for writing in my own blog or perpetuating false information or whatever wonky accusation some idiot w/a lawyer or the republicans shout at me horrifyingly. That’s why I have a trigger warning as the homepage, && antivirus for the blog itself, && analytics.

Hopefully bad things happen less.