I feel very unpleasant that I lost track of my dosage today b/c I had to wake up earlier than normal for therapy.

I’ve had on-and-off paranoia most of the day, too.

I really do not want to be around the parents right now.

I don’t know what’s wrong with them.

Not every dart is going to be a bullseye.

So just now I had 0.5 g green + 1.0 g red (possibly the most boring dose possible).

It is friday. I like enjoying fridays.

This therapist seems to be a problem. I don’t know if I should report her for sexually harassing me or not.

Retribution laws don’t really work that well in the U.S.

As poorly as anything else in such a bad country.

I don’t know what else to say.

Sorry about yr bruises.

They’re not mine.

(So how long are we expected it to take?).

…

I suppose you are right. At some point we should bring into the picture the concepts of tolerance && addiction.

So in any case, the two are different, for starters.

I would assume usually they are correlated.

I feel that my actions are frowned upon. But perhaps this is paranoia, or despondency.

I was despondent today.

My parents didn’t help very much.

My therapist was supposed to help — she sexually harassed me.

I don’t know if I should report her. The greivance complaint line is not even anonymous.

So yeah. That’s american healthcare. Dumb retard of Earth.

If you even think drrmrrfuck is on Earth.

Some people think it does not qualify. Too low quality/unethical.

…

Great. Now I have a stomach ache.

…

Feminazis I guess.

I just hope I can sustain my being-there for my parents.

They really do get too much input into my decisions, though.

…

I don’t really have anything else to say.

I need to get my liver tested soon, too.

So we’ll see what is up.

There are many checks in place, though.

Am I spending too much on it?: budget

Am I keeping track of my dosage throughout the day && how much have I have?: blog

Some checks from mitragaia (like tamper-protection).

Manual willpower (yes, I don’t have none, I have some–but it is not good to rely on exclusively).

&& just living a healthy lifestyle.

Really, overdosing to my parents would really make them sad.

I don’t know. It’s good to be atheist, I guess.

Which I am.

…

I think I’m craving more responsible behavior from myself.

I probably did have a mild overdose of kratom tonight.

So anyway.

Tomorrow I expect to have 0.5 g green, && 0.5 g red (the minimum dose of each vein).

And then it would be nice to go on a hike w/my brother(s?) && mother.

Normal life is hard to find sometimes.

And it’s hard to be happy anymore.

At least my psych med dosage is optimized.

That took “4-6 weeks” ahhhh no closer to 10 years.

Thanks, dumb fucks.

I don’t know what else to say. My mood is pretty nasty right now.

I guess I should do relaxing things.

…

I guess that’s it for now.

Thanks for reading.