I don’t know. It doesn’t drop.

Life is strange.

Decisions are important.

Decisions take practice, && time.

I don’t know much about life.

…

I’m a biologist. What the fuck? I don’t know much about life?

I’m not a biologist. I’m a poet.

I’m not a poet, I’m French.

I’m not French, I’m just here writing in this blog post, blah blah blah.

Thank you for reading.

…

Dinner is some delicious home-made slow-cooked chili beans, from raw beans and other raw ingredients. Mother does most of the cooking. I’m trying to be more… useful. I have 2 days a week of cooking starting since recently, && they’re the same recipes every time. To memorize/get practice/develop flavor-subtlety && touch.

…

I used to play sports.

I don’t know what to say.

I’m sorry for all this.

I think, I can adapt to insanity fairly alright.

What is a memory?

I am connected to people. Remembering them is connecting w/them. They are conscious, I am conscious, && I think of them–but maybe I am being deceived otherwise.

I wouldn’t know.

I’m sorry for all this.

…

I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re all doing okay. Things are like, this or that, but it’s not bad.

It’s bad when it’s bad, but that’s just… things. && (Indian) things are like this, that, etc.

What else could it be?

I need to eat dinner.

Thank you for the plants, planet, && family.

…

I will do my best to “give back” (like I stole something or something).

I just want to help out. I want to accomplish things.

Am I such a freak? Schizoaffective disorder? Kratom?

I exercised today. Some step machine && some yoga. Like almost an hour of yoga, actually. But not yang yoga–rather, yin yoga. That means peaceful motion, long holds. Yang is like, power yoga you may be familiar with.

But the principles are more or less the same.

I want to lose more weight next year. So far I’m just trying to structure my life, right now.

…

The parents are recovering, what from I do not know.

I did a lot of damage, w/my mental illness. I’ve actually been on treatment for over a decade, but it hasn’t really worked until like, a few years ago.

I (re)started kratom about a month ago. So far, it is treating me very well, && it is completely under control.

It has been bad before.

Due to kratom && my mental illness. There was some overlap, too.

&& I was alcoholic for a while.

&& pot in grad school.

WTFm8.

I dunno.

I ‘pologize.

Fur the fock.

I have done a lot.

I haven’t done anything at all.

…

I haven’t done anything at all.