I am taking a break from kratom tonight.

It’s medicine, not candy.

My mother doesn’t know that I’m taking it (and yes, if you’re in a country where mild drugs are legal–like alcohol or coffee in the U.S.–it is MUCH safer to be “out” about your drug usage to your family and close friends than to hide it–hiding it builds pressure, which fuels anxiety && the need for the drug). (Note, kratom is unscheduled (meaning NOT ILLEGAL) in the U.S., except for certain states && districts, though it is not intended for human consumption, as far as policy goes) , which puts pressure on me to hide it. But today she said Never start drugs, There’s no stopping addiction (in sum, paraphrasing).

So why not? Let’s prove to ourselves that we’re in control of the dosing. I had 5 pills (2.5 g) today earlier, but tonight should be 0. That’s the goal.

I previously said it wasn’t that addicting, but it was easy to abuse.

So I guess we’ll test that / prove it / disprove it. One way or another.

&& I have green sencha tea to fall back on (THAT is actually a healthy addiction for me–it’s mild, gentle, NOT addicting (just a tad, just a tad), && healthy). There are other things to do–like writing in your blog, hanging out w/your cat, or worst comes to worst, doing chores.

I am also perpetually behind on hobbies.

I sent out a job application today. No one fucking cares.

So I’m around, && I’ll be posting status updates on the mission progress for tonight along the way.

Bon chance.