My parents are great, but they do some really stupid things very reliably and it sort of wears on me. I wish it didn’t. I wish I was stronger.

Oh well.

So for now I will shitstorm+ and ass rape like the 5 year-olds at the pool, at the park, at the PEDOPHILIA IS NOT A CRIME just don’t rape little children.

Hey there smacktards. Smacktalk much?

…

Fuck shit ass nigger thizz bitch. Fuck you.

Stupid shitstains everywhere.

The thing w/black people is they are very social, and very friendly when not antagonized, and having a bunch around in the area DOING WELL is a good social health indicator… for everyone.

Does that frame of mind kind of victimize black people a little? Like, using them as a thermometer?

Yes, but in a noninvasive, population-based way.

I don’t know. What’s good for others is often good for the self, as well.

I try to, when struggling, help others–but somefuckingfuckingfuckingfuckingfucking times it’s too hard.

So there’s that.

…

Shit fuck ass nigger thizz bitch.

Can ye guesswork whhhhhAttish, is my MANTRA?

Hint: I don’t have one.

…

Fuck shit ass. Kill yrself, et cetera, now the cops are going to shut me down, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THEY WILL DETAIN ME. Which is excruciating b/c anxiety levels shoot through the roof, handcuffs are painful (though not like, life-or-death painful–just sort of uncivil), and that reminds me I need to research dementia to see if there’s any way I can serve my parents better.

I am a son.

But as of now they’re only demented when I’m angry.

Which MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEANS they aren’t demented–I am.

How coy of me.

…

To hide from myself.

Though at that lateral altitude and in that lattice structure, I wouldn’t really know what kind of “rocks” were thrown at me here, there, or anywhere.

As long as I stay away from XYZ it should ABC.

Or maybe notte?

…

I don’t know. I’m tired. How are you doing?

…

Fuck shit NEVER .. someone I knew in high school did .. and it is more appropriately …

.

BUT, more importantly, my “friends” in highschool didn’t help me when my schizoaffective disorder was kicking in heavy-gear when we went hiking at a big park, and again when we were in San Fuck-cisco.

That’s a fun name for it. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY b/c b/c bee-cousins that Cisco is a silicon valley company.

I wonder where their HQ is.

…

Dingo horsey.

Ahh yes, the neck technique.

What is or what is not: how can it be?

(How can it be noteish?).

Or do you abstain and prefer?

I don’t know what to say.

Fuck shit my vocabulary is poor I won’t study any foreign languages anymore except for Francais, and it is good CUZ a while ago for a holly-day my someone family got me a tablet, that I didn’t like for a long time b/c it was an amazon tablet. But it works, and I have experience in the medical industry (sort of–related to medicine (NOTE: I am not a drug dealer nor a pharmacist)), so the term “fit for purpose” is now relevant.

It is a francais educamment tablet 4 miyuo.

Hey die.

…

What fuck?

Shit fuck?

Ass-ass?

What else would you like on your very polite sandwich?

…

I need to eat dinner.

Nothing calls.

Thank you for the WIND, or whichever element wants to fuck me over now.

Note note: wind is not an element, it is not a state of being.

Fuck you shit fuck ass nigger thizz bitch.

Something gripes me: the modern dependence on phones.

Before phones, there were phones, and in between there were computers.

That’s a hilariously accurate explanation of the history of the development (means invention (which is a team effort in the modern era, no named-after-someone)) of smartphones.

What boggles me is touchscreens. THOSE things were revolutionary.

Anyway.

I don’t know I don’t know, and in person, but overhearing, and being vigilant.

Case in sum: I d-d-d-o-n-‘t want to be a phoney.

…

So I should discuss WITH AN AI–

nevermind.

…

You just can’t win anymore. Dependence on xyz, pharmaceutical medicines, technology hot off the press, audiobooks instead of books, at least I STILL buy LPs && CDs.

And I have a sound system.

Life is good. I shouldn’t be so dreary all the time.

I just, I was in such good shape when I was younger, and now I feel totally like FAT even though I’m just mildly overweight and not that fat compared to a lot of Americans.

But America isn’t exactly the paragon of standards for health.

…

Sorry to break it to anyone in the audience who is youthfully running 10 miles a day, though fit ppl tend too haffe fewer problems than healthy people.

And it is causative, I would assume as an unemployed scientist (or whatever, researcher) reliably that the wheel of science has I shit you not moved that far so far.

Maybe it was proven hundreds of years ago.

Or maybe thousands.

Or maybe bacteria “know” this.

There was an interesting argument that lobsters or something, crabs, I don’t remember, have serotonin and therefore can empathize with other organisms.

Then there’s the psychosomatic effect && projection.

I would guess it’s an active area of research. Lobster cognition.

…

The world is such a big place. Plates.

…

I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.

Can I be done now?

I’m not nullicidal, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I have my safe venting areas and I practice nonviolence in my exercise. And even people at UFC gyms are nonviolent if you look at it carefully.

Sports, art, culture.

Life is good.

Go have a good life.

(Make LOTS of bad decisions).

…

I don’t know. What else is shit fuck tomfoolery.

So mannee mistaeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyIKES!

What was that?

…

I give. I guess that’s about it for now.

Thanks for being so loud and obnoxious, as a reader.

I’m starting to relax.

Well anyway.

I hope you’re alright, and I will pursue engineering more… rigorously.

Even if I get a job, I will work on web apps in my free time.

And everything CAN fit into the day–you just have to… actually do it. Not like dilly-dally (though romantically, yes, dilly-dally a little).

Fit for purpose. Remember that.

BAH and even THAT is a cliffhanger.

I don’t know who’s reading this but good luck.

With the cliffhangers.

Also: Don’t kill dogs.