I need to make a blue deck.
To play against mother.
She uses mono-red (simple cards).
In Magic: The Gathering (a card game).
Out of the starter essentials what’s it called release.
Foundations.
Brother got me a foundations box for my birthday.
So I’m obligated to exercise my fun muscles.
My family likes happy me.
Yeah, kratom definitely has longer-term effects. I didn’t redose, just had a slightly stronger morning dose, and am still clean for the night, though I’ve been taking daily for like a week or two, and I’m getting a little opy-ness right now.
That means, mild euphoria.
So it’s good. It definitely takes time to process, and it’s best not to interrupt the plant when it’s at work.
So yeah. I am learning to “just let it be” instead of OPTIMATOR.
Hopefully you can tell the difference, too.
&& yes to clarify, I am not getting anything other than a minor hedonistic urge for more pills, but like, overall, I feel totally fine. I am drinking my green tea (NOT kratom), and taking a break.
I guess what I mean to say is, I feel relaxed.
&&–dare I say it–in control at the same time?
Anyway. Still learning, don’t quote me on anything, and take what’s beneficial (and maybe a little more than that) and AUTONOMOUS THOUGHT REQUIRED.
Tweedle dum, tweedle dee~
I actually think kratom has lasting effects on the mind and body. I feel… somewhat glowy, as opposed to the jagged psyche I was plagued with for many years. NOTE: psych meds do the heavy lifting, && eat healthy && exercise a lot.
This is welcome.
So, it’s good to just ride out the wave, and everything is cool, and no need to dose if you want to stay in control of yr own herbal medicine.
So like. Yeah. The plant totally allows that.
Social infrastructure is what it is. So you have to sort of, adapt to that, and reconfigure yourself for reality.
So yeah. It’s good.
I am taking a break from kratom tonight.
It’s medicine, not candy.
My mother doesn’t know that I’m taking it (and yes, if you’re in a country where mild drugs are legal–like alcohol or coffee in the U.S.–it is MUCH safer to be “out” about your drug usage to your family and close friends than to hide it–hiding it builds pressure, which fuels anxiety && the need for the drug). (Note, kratom is unscheduled (meaning NOT ILLEGAL) in the U.S., except for certain states && districts, though it is not intended for human consumption, as far as policy goes) , which puts pressure on me to hide it. But today she said Never start drugs, There’s no stopping addiction (in sum, paraphrasing).
So why not? Let’s prove to ourselves that we’re in control of the dosing. I had 5 pills (2.5 g) today earlier, but tonight should be 0. That’s the goal.
I previously said it wasn’t that addicting, but it was easy to abuse.
So I guess we’ll test that / prove it / disprove it. One way or another.
&& I have green sencha tea to fall back on (THAT is actually a healthy addiction for me–it’s mild, gentle, NOT addicting (just a tad, just a tad), && healthy). There are other things to do–like writing in your blog, hanging out w/your cat, or worst comes to worst, doing chores.
I am also perpetually behind on hobbies.
I sent out a job application today. No one fucking cares.
So I’m around, && I’ll be posting status updates on the mission progress for tonight along the way.
Bon chance.
The state is attacking me again.
Fuck you, bitch. Go blow up a bomb while hugging it.
The neighbors are terrorists.
No bad drugs–just bad ppl.
Fuck oyu shit fuck shit fuck shit die bitc h rteard ass nigger retards fuck you go commit suicide and leave me alone.
Fuckers.
Whore ass fuckers twisting my words.
They’re conservative.
Fuckers whore ass fuckers. Go die.
Nosy shits.
(C) DrrMrrCan’t (intentional omission of period)